being pengapit of the day :p

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my girlfriendssss <3

p/s:: one is missing in action . aqilah .. where have you beennn ? :(

my big bro's wedding day .

p/s:: congrats abg an & kak irney :) hehe ..

from this moment on

<3 L & S <3


From this moment life has begun
From this moment you are the one
Right beside you is where I belong
From this moment on

From this moment I have been blessed
I live only for your happiness
And for your love I'd give my last breath
From this moment on

I give my hand to you with all my heart
I Can't wait to live my life with you, can't wait to start
You and I will never be apart
My dreams came true because of you

From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give
From this moment on

You're the reason I believe in love
And you're the answer to my prayers from up above
All we need is just the two of us
My dreams came true because of you

From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give From this moment
I will love you as long as I live
From this moment on


NOTE ::: love is in the airrrr~!!! ;p

last hope

sabar okay ?
hidup ni tak selalunya kita ada kt atas ja.
so kena experience jgk perasaan bila kita ada kat bawah .
aku redha .. aku dah taknak persoalkan apa apa ..
Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku ..
kuatkan semangat aku selalu ..
semua ni mesti end up jgk satu hari nanti..
sorry semua benda ni jadi dalam sekelip mata ..
nak uji tahap keimanan & kesabaran aku mungkin
aku takkan duduk diam :)

here we go baby ..
the rise of finaz . yeah :)
i will chase after it forever ..
and whatever it takes ..
i'm gonna get it ..

easy talking , hard to do :)

when your past has totally awaken you ..
what would you do ?
do you really get changed ?
so what would happen to the person after him/her ?
will they accept it just the way it is ?
come on ..
what are people expecting from you ?
yeah PEEPS ..
let's just name it ..
list out all the expectations .
maybe it will make EACH ONE of you satisfied .
yeah . pure satisfaction guaranteed perhaps .
argh . dammit .
i cant deny the fact that everybody in this scene is a jerk.
i hate that the fact people are expecting me to smile always..
if it's said that your world is turning grey ..
will you just keep on smiling?
or just end up doing nothing ?
dont you feel like fighting for your rights at all ?
dont you feel like it was merely a nightmare ?
dont you feel that you're just nothing ?
i hate that the fact people are asking me to think at the positive sides ...
oh yea ? does it really work for you whenever you're going through hard times ?
how could you develope such way of thinking when your mind is not in your soul ?
answer me please..
yeah .. the fact is the soul is breaking up slowly actually ..
hmm.. i'm telling ya . my soul is rather screaming like mad ..
because everything does not fall into place anymore ..
and please .. dont push me to pretend ..
argh , fcuk it !
i hate that i'm the next person .
i hate that i owned a fragile heart .
i hate that i have to swallow everything inside my throat until my last breath.
do they know that it's kinda hard for me to keep on breathing after all ?
urgh . i feel so suffocating at the moment ..
it's aching so hard inside here ..
no body knows .. i hide it inside for so long ..
but then ,
just put yourself in my shoes ..
experience it for a short period ..
and you may find that you're just nothing more like a loser ..
by the way mates , thanks for trying :) ( only if you really do )

:)

if this life is all about :-

$$MONEY
some say that money can give us happiness.. is it true ? i dont know ..
then , why don't choose that way to find your true happiness instead?
let's see if it would give you a longlasting happiness ..who knows ??

LOOKS <3

some believe that looks can make someone would bear to sacrifice anything for his or her love ones.
then what happened to the relationship at the end of the day ? did it last forever ?
will it endure ? yea . let's try it ;)

p/s:: yess , all that i've mentioned above is a sort of provocation. got any prob with me ?

to be continued..

no words can describe how does it feel inside

i may not appear to be as hot as any hot babes .
i may not be your love at the first sight .
i came to you all the way from my past .
i came to you with a strong believe that you will never let me down .
i may not be the one whom you bear to sacrifice anything .
i may not be the one who means the WORLD to you .
but i want you to know .
this strong feeling of affection that i have towards you
have already fade away all of my memories about the past with other parties .
it's true . my heart does tell me so .
i've came to realize about it .
now that i've zer0-memories about my past .
i'm totally a new person indeed with no turning back to the past.
no one would ever believe this .
they think that i'm just the same .
and i'm so upset about it .
it's okay . it's okay .
my sky is always tend to turn grey .
i know that right from the beginning .
and all i have to do is to keep being patient and believe a miracle would happen once in my life time at least :)


to be continued.

everything is under construction . ;p

the mirror :) i made myself all those crystalline things . it's so easyyy you know than just buying it ready made . it's way too expensive . i'd advised you just to buy those materialneeded and do it yourself . it's quite saving i would say .



the roses ball . hehe . i made them myself too . as usual . it's way much more cheaper to do it on your own . sweet kan ? aku suka sgt sgt dpt buat benda ni . hehe





the painting wall project . hehe . takda la the entire wall in the room yg kiteorg paint kan .it's just a feature wall for the katil backdrop . since the theme is deep purple. backdrop katil belum siap lagi . soon will be updated la kot . ngee .



tadaaa . dh siap painting feature wall . tgk tu happynye maid aku dok posing atas katil . haha . bongokla hang yanti oi . interprem plakkk .


so yg kat atas2 tu la yg aku busy mcm org gile nk buat skrg ni . cuti sem ni itu la keje aku . buat simple2 je . sentuhan budak2 hingusan jer . haha . hope my big bro will like it . :D

my diet journal ;p

this is my Diet menu for 21days ;) goodluck to myself !
Undergoing a strict diet plan . hahaha..
i'll be following it desperatelyyy . since there's
no much time left . adoii . the BIG day is comin so soon .
it seems like i've put on a few pounds . shit . i can see the flabbiness
on my tummy which is so uglyyy . how do i wear my kebaya ? omg~
make me strong for this simple diet plan within 3weeks more . :(
so wish me good luck mates ~



Morning
A glass of alpha lipid + banana/epal/orange+vitamin e primrose oil

Afternoon
Jusmate diet+ 1litre HO2

Evening
Vege soup / tuna/sausage/hamb+2 slices of wholemeal bread

Dinner
a glass of anlene milk+1litre HO2

the indie side of me :)

i'm not talking about a kind of music genre or what .
it's simply about the meaning that it brings .
a short form from the word of independant .:D
yeah, i think i'd tried to be as 'indie' as i can..
yes , very self-reliant enough at my age i think..
i dont depend on others to survive .
other than my parents & my siblings ..:)
because they're my everything real in this world ..
besides my loved ones <3.. i've gone through so many hardships
in life .. so it really made ME today .. the person who's standing infront of you guys . dont worry . if you'd really chose me to be your friends, your loved ones or whatever it is .you should know that i'd rather sacrificed all i have just to give ..because i'm not being raised up just to take from others . i'd bear to work for what i want from the beginning until my last sweat . taking without giving at all is strictly not my principle . so dont you dare to mess up with me . because i'm working hard towards everything that i dreamt of . i dont prefer relying on others . that's just me .
so if you think of me oppositely . please change your way of judging ..it's totally wrong . dont think that i'm the same as you .. because i could never burden the one that i loved most .. as for me, i think love is about your willingness to sacrifice what you love the most .. :) yeah think about it deeply .. i think i deserved much for what i possesed these days .. it's all about efforts and patience .. thanks dear Allah .. YOU have awarded me the power to be this strong ..

it's a good thing :)

with love from fynaz

you're my only reliable friend ever .
please stay with me in whatever condition .
i promise that i won't leave you .
i dont care what people around me would say .
you're just the one that i can count on .
you soothe my heart .
you wipe away my tears .
you give me comforts .
you make me released
you make my day sometimes
even if you cant talk to me .
your just my good listener ever.
you will always listen to me anyhow .
i know that ..
and i love you dear blog ;)

i hate you to the max .

fuck off !
shut up your mouth .
i dont wanna hear anything .
i'm just nobody .

how i wish i could have an apparatus called the 'timer turner'

firstly,
i'm sorry for the incomplete me ..
i'm sorry for the 'mess life' i'd had before..
i'm sorry for the imperfect me ..
i'm sorry for all the weakness that i'm having inside me ..
i'm sorry for everything i've done or said that might hurt you people..
i dont know what else to say ..
it's just a very deep sorry from the bottom of my heart ..

i dont even have the power to make things fall right into places every single time in my life ..
i am just an ordinary person .and i admit i've done a lot of mistakes in life ..
very much that i regret of until these days .. but i just keep it to myself and rather trying to
take them as my precious lessons ever . i am telling you .. please dont doubt me ..
i'm leading my steps forward . i aint looking back no more .. i've taken
all the goodness and i've left behind all the bad things a thousand miles away from me ..
i'd be struggling with myself just to stay away from such 'disasters'. i beg for everyone .. please don't ..

to whom it may concern ..
no matter what . i want you to know that ..
i'm doing all it takes just to change ..
if you could see it with a couple of your eyes ..
if you could feel it with a plain heart ..
if you could touch it with the warmness of your hands ..
i'm letting the world to see through me ..
i am doing great for myself ..
a lot better than before i would say ..


truly ,
syafinaz nordin

yeaa.

aku kuat kan . yup . aku bole ja apapun .
aku tak mudah mengaku kalah . aku tak mudah lupa .
aku tak mudah dimanipulasikan . aku tak mudah utk segala segalanya .
cuma satu benda ja . aku penat . hehe . penat sgt sgt sgt sgt sgt sgt sgt .
tak hilang lagi penat even dh rehat lama dah . hurm . so mcm mana nie ?
what's the next solution ? hmmm . dear finaz ? tell yourself okay .
dont keep silent lah . it's so fcking lame okay ? bodoh lah ~! arghhhhh .

finaz should always remind herself on these few things :-

1. watch out her words . every word that comes out from her mouth
2. be self-reliant
3. dont think too much . until it reaches 'undefined state' which means there's no other solution anymore :P
4.be +ve for her own good
5. be true to herself
6. very high resistance and durable in any possible 'weather' . lol
7. love herself more than she loves other person .

hi , i'm back again today ..

hehe . aku rasa tak jemu nk luah segala kt sini lagi harini .
sbb aku rasa lega lps dh luah kt sni . even ada lagi benda yg sgt
private utk di luahkan . takpala . mcm ni pun okay .. dh lapang hati
aku .. erm . harini aku bangun . badan sakit2 gila . sbb smalam aku
gatai p gardening la konon kt kawasan rumah . hadoii . bapak ah .
sengal satu badan . mcm nk demam . urat aku terkejut mungkin .
hahahah . bodoh la pinaih oi . adoiyaii . p cari sakit minggu2 nk exam ni
omg ~ sakittt . rasa bebai pun ada . tekak pun sakit . dehydration kot .
aku kurang minum air putih lately . keja minum air masam2 ja .mau tekak
pun tak terkejut . haha . semua benda nk terkejut . jenoh la pinaih oiiii .
grrrrr . bongoklah awk nih . erm . arghh . aku tak sabar nk habiskan azab2 yg
bakal aku tempuhi dlm tempoh masa tak lebih 2minggu ni . kalau dh settle yg tu
aku boleh hembus nafas lega sgt sgt .hehe . sbb dah berjaya complete kan sem 4 ni.
next sem dh sem 5 . cepatnya masa berlalu . come on girl .. strive for excellence . hehe
kalau aku habis diploma nih . aku ada byk benda nk buat . continue study tu maybe benda
kedua dlm otak aku . aku rasa aku dh jmpa benda yg aku minat plus x pressure nk deal with .
bkn aku malas nk study . tapi aku rasa diri aku sesuai dgn benda yg more relaxing and tak stress
sgt . aku cepat down ~ down down down ~ haha . bongoklah kau nih finaz oi . erm . takpala .yg tu nanti kita pikir eh . nanti tau . jgn pk skrg . nanti bertambah serabut kepala otak aku yg berselirat ni . haihhh . itu sekadar benda yg terlintas dlm hati ja la kot buat masa skrg .
yg lain kita decide nanti k . erm .
oh yea mama ... tiba2 rasa rindu nk ckp ngn mama pasal future aku ..
dia ja suka melayan aku ckp bab2 future nih . kenapa time ada mama aku rasa mcm ada satu lagi semangat lain yg ada dlm diri aku .. skrg ? aku lost . pinas mtk maaf mama .. pinas x hidup dgn baik sgt .. pinas rindu mama .. kalau la mama ada lagi .. pinas leh rasa pinas leh berjaya lebih dr skrg . obviously mama .. pinas dh kaji semua .. pinas xdpt buat yg terbaik selain dr ada mama di sisi .. pinas cepat give up . pinas cepat down . kenapa cmtuh ? mama jgn sedih tgk pinas .
pinas yg cari masalah . pinas cuba settle sendiri k .. cuba sedaya upaya pinas nk atasi semua tu ..
sejak mama takda , pinas terpksa belajar terima semua benda . even pinas tak suka sekalipun . kena telan jugak . susah sgt . tapi pinas kena hadapi jgk . even takda mama di sisi pinas . tapi pengajaran tu sentiasa ada . mama selalu ada dgn kami kan ? guide kami ke arah jln yg lurus ..
mama sayang kami kan ? pinas sayang mama . i'm so sorry for everything i did as long as you lived mama .. pinas xda niat nk buat mama jauh hati . pinas mintak maaf mama .. :(

p/s:: al fatihah untuk mama yg dh jauh pergi meninggalkanku .. tapi still dkt di hati .. :) semoga roh mama dicucuri rahmat . amin ~

i think i just got my right ..

yup . aku rasa aku sgt sgt la berhak ke ats apa yg aku rasa skrg ni.
org lain just takleh interfere into my heart bussiness. it's private and confidential okay.
. aku rasa aku deserve nk rasa apapa yg aku rasa skrg ..
tak perlu nak luahkan segala kt sini . biar ja dlm hati aku ni ..
sbb aku ja yg boleh telan semua ni . :) takpa . aku kuat ..
kuat sgt . tiap2 ari i told myself that . aku doa nanti semua yg aku
rasa ni akan paid off .. suatu hari nanti .. yeah . aku tak kisah takda
org nk baca blog ni . aku just anggap benda ni medium utk aku ckp
dgn diri aku .. bkn nk show off..supaya aku lagi dkt dgn diri aku . i think
being self-centred is my current priority rather than thinking about others.
sometimes, it's just a waste of time and energy.yeah . i'm not kidding okay.
this is just true .. i cant simply ignore the facts .. aku terlalu menjaga perasaan
org lain sampai diri aku terabai . sampai bila ? you had enough kan girl ?
. apapa pun takda sapa yg leh jaga hati kita melainkan your ownself . kan kan .
so .. please jaga hati sendiri sebelum jaga hati org lain sbb hati org yg kita jaga tu
tak semestinya mampu jaga hati kita .. enough la aku dh korbankan hati aku utk
org lain selama ni . it's just pathetic okay. seriously.. sometimes tak worth it pun after
all.. bkn tak ikhlas nk buat semua tu . tuhan ja yg tau hati aku ni fond of love.
org ckp hati aku kecik sgt . nk banding dgn perwatakan aku. buat malu ja aku dgr .
malu dgn diri aku . kenapa la mcm tu eh finaz ? come on . we're waiting for the rise of finaz..
get up girl . get your way out of all the gloomy days .. bring yourself up to the limit ..
open up your eyes dear .. byk lagi benda aku tak jumpa dlm hidup ni . penuh dgn dugaan lagi.
this is just the beginning kan finaz kan .. so get yourself prepared.sbb dunia ni skrg agak kejam .even i myself cant believe the way this world revolves around me . it's kinda cruel ..
bodoh kan . mmg bodoh sgt . tapi it's true . utk nk bg manusia pengajaran yg sgt beerti dlm hidup.erm .. overall apa yg aku rasa ni it's just general okay .tiba2 aku rasa nk luah benda ni kt sini .kt real life tak tentu org nk dgr apa yg aku merepek meraban nih . so blog ni ja yg aku ada utk nk luahkan segala . selain yg Maha Esa ..

truly,
syafinaz

hmmm ..

erm . mengeluh tu tak baik kan ? aha . aku selalu sgt mengeluh lately .
penat sgt mungkin . bkn penat yg mcm lps lari ke apa . tapi penat yg
teramat sgt . rasa nk give up on everything . tapi tak boleh la .. aku

ada byk benda lagi nk kena deal lps ni . future aku ? yeah . sudah

pasti . penat mcm mana pun . life goes on okay finaz ? sbb apa

aku ckp aku penat ? sbb aku penat simpan dlm hati . semua benda

aku simpan dlm hati . sampai nk dkt overloading dh . sikit hari

lagi boleh termuntah keluar semua sekali . disebabkan pressure
yg dh di compact kan dlm satu acuan yg berbentuk hati . ahh .

apa aku merepek nih ? lantaklah . janji msg nya sampai . memang

aku penat pun . susah kan ? sometimes we may find it's really hard

to put into words . not that easy tau .. aku sendiri tak reti nk handle .

eventhough dlm hati ni dh burden sgt . nobody knows . muka aku

serius 24/7 semenjak 2 menjak ni . susah nk mengukir senyuman.
bkn aku sengaja . padahal mcm org taktau otak gila2 aku dulu . bab

gelak2 ni serah kt aku kot. haha . tahla. tapi tu finaz yg dulu..mmg 1001

benda aku tgh fikir . tapi tak solve2 jgk .hehe . shit aaaa ~ penat kot ..

kdg2 aku rasa kan . finaz yg skrg jauh lagi matang dr finaz yg dulu ..
tapi yg tak best sense of humour finaz yg lama dh x lekat skali dgn aku .

aku dh byk berubah .. ya Allah . sungguh aku tak sengaja nk lukakan hati

org kt sekeliling aku . tapi byk benda yg aku nk kena fikir sgt buat aku

jadi mcm ni . senang temper , sensitive sgt2 plus apa lagi la kan .
so now mcm mana ? aku stucked dh okay ? aku ada dkt tgh2 antara dua

dunia yg berbeza . aku dh taktau nk langkah ke mana . maybe aku akan

terus kt sini ja kot . sbb ini mmg aku .. buat masa skrg .. tak semua benda

aku boleh share dgn org2 yg close dgn aku .. bkn sbb mereka tak penting dh

dlm hidup aku . tapi aku ada byk benda nk kena consider before aku luahkan

apa yg terbuku dlm hati aku ni . kdg2 org xleh terima even dia syg aku mcm

mana pun . so sgtla susah bagi aku nk meluahkan segalanya .. even it sounds

quite simple . just say everything out . thats all . as simple as that . haahh laaa .

easier said than do la . hurmmm..plus la kan . org lain pun cm ada prob masing2

taksemua boleh ada utk aku .. takpala . aku x salahkan sapa2 pun ok . salah aku

jgk . byk sgt serabut sana sini . berkerut dahi tak tentu pasai. haihh .. tahla .. sorry

okay guys ?

Ya Allah Ya Rahman Ya Rahim ..

Hanya Kau yang mengerti segala isi hatiku .. takda ragu2 lagi. . semoga Dia

permudahkan segala urusan hidup aku lepas ni . tenangkan hati aku selalu .

biar semua mudah ja utk aku lalui .. tetapkan hati aku jua Ya Allah .. Amin ~

bila rasaku ini rasamu

aku memang terlanjur mencintaimu
dan tak pernah ku sesali itu
seluruh jiwa telah kuserahkan
menggenggam janji setiaku
ku mohon jangan jadikan seperti
alasan kau menyakitiku
meski pun cintamu tak hanya untukku
tapi cobalah sejenak mengerti
reff:bila rasaku ini rasamu
sanggupkah engkau menahan sakitnya terkhianati cinta yang kau jaga
coba bayangkan kembali
betapa hancurnya hati ini kasih
semua telah terjadi
aku memang terlanjur mencintaimu

it's miamor's birthday .. yepeee !!!

finally i get managed to set up a surprise one for him .
although it didn't go according to my pre-planning which
i'd planned about a fortnight ago .. but it's still okay . as long
as i'd managed to make him surprised . omg~ i could not
help myself to recall back his face expression on that time ..
lawak okay ? eventhough dlm hati ada cuak sikit2 time tu . afraid incase
he might get mad . who knows ? he might be unpredictable at any particular time .
yeah.. hehe . tapi sayang . i didnt even had a chance to capture any photos with him ..
dayang2 aku dah lupa mungkin . nk snap pic aku together with miamor<3 ..
tu ja la kot yg ralat sikit . yg lain semua everything was fine .. lega ~
even takdala gempak sgt pun . it's just an ordinary birthday surprise .
but aku still happy because i'd tried my best to make him happy dgn cara aku
yg agak kelam kabut . n bongok2 skit . heheh . sorry kay syg ? for all the lies i'd made for
that day . it's all because of you .. i could never been this happy before just to see your smile on
your 'day' of the year ..yea .. it means a lot to me .. :) you should know why .. ;p



p/s:: credits to my bff , aqilah othman , aqilah's younger sister (asma) , my indonesian maid ( suyanti) and lastly my dear sister syamilia for being my company . ily girls . muacks muacks . and not being left out ..ofcourse my miamor <3 with a message :: i l y s m , and semoga panjang umur k sayang .. :*:*:*

here's a message for you dear heart

dear heart ..
please get heal as soon as possible ..
be as strong as you could ..
this is a command ..
you have to obey it ..

truly ,
syafinaz

same goes here

i'm sorry too ..
even if i dont know for what purpose of saying so ..
i'm just too tired ..
never mind ..
no point of arguing ..
no point of talking from heart-to-heart..
no point of taking hearts..
the answers are always there ..
so ..
let's start it all over again ..
i have nothing to say anymore ..
i know where exactly i'm standing ..
you dont have to remind me on every single thing..
all i know is every second in my life ..
i'd tried to do my best for this relationship ..
if you could see it from the bottom of your heart ..

love,
syafinaz nordin

dont be too blind to see ..

open your eyes widenedly ..
to see through me ..
yeah ..
everything lays inside there ..
you dont have to find it so hard ..
it's just there ..
i won't guide you to the way ..
because it's just there ..
i told ya like a million times right mate ?
you dont have to put so much efforts to get it ..
just a little consideration ..
and some faiths ..

comment : i dont know why i tend to talk about faith these days .. maybe i'm just too much of it ..
urghh . why this life is so damn bored ? i hope that on the other way round i may find this life is
quite meaningful yet unpredictable yet blissful .. err . perhaps ? could it be ? erm .. amin ~ with god's mercy ..

hmmm ..

why me ?
am i alrite ?
yeaa . think i do . but somehow think i'm not in a steady state yet:)
huh .. life treated me quite unwell lately .
i'm feeling so uneasy ..
i'm feeling so insecured ..
i'm paranoid ..
i'm stucked ..
i'm feeling all goes wrong ..
i'm really not into something which i supposed to do .
urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ..
oh shit ..
state what else fynaz ? do you have some more to say ?
those negative things aint bring you no where sayang ..
please gather back every piece that left in you ..
arrange them as one ..
and such nightmares will soon be gone ..
just put a 100% trust in yourself okie dokie ?

p/s: dear heart , i'm so sorry that i've been hard on you lately .. yeah . so hard on you .. sorry for all the things i've put you through .. i hope you will get well soon dear heart ..

blurry moments

oh yea . i dont know why i am being so fucking lame these days ..
the more i get to strenghten a piece of mine ..
the more lame i get ..
oh shit . this kind of situation should not happen to you my dear..
you're too much this time ..
please let it go ..
past is past rite honey?
dont let the past reflected you ..
never let it overshadowed you ..
you're going no where with all of em ..
they're only your obstacles ..
not your miracles ..
come on , switch their places..
let them be your inspiration ..
towards a better 'YOU'..
how many times you got to remind all these things to yourself actually?
*sighs*sighs*

truly,
-a letter from your heart -

to you-know-who-you-are =]

There was something he did .. it was sweet ..
Eventhough i felt like laughing . it’s kinda ridiculous actually.
But nvr mind . Arghh . love you moreeeee sayangggg .
I love you more than i love myself .. hurm ..
Thanks for the unpredictable action .
I’ve never expected it . hehe ..
you threw away that stuff into the sea .
Yeah . together with a love spell . thanks .
So sweet of you honey bunch .
I love you so much with all my hearts ..
note that to yourself sayang ..
always do ..
because i really do love you ..

p/s:: you may take it as nothing or just an ordinary action ..
but then it doesnt really work on me. hehe . yea . i would say it has left me a thousand sentimental values instead :)


with love,
syafinaz nordin

yeah . i'm great !

i'm being good anytime , anywhere , and any how ..
you have no point to doubt me ..
i'm changing for good ..
i'm doing the best as i could ..
to be true ..
i have nothing more to hide ..
this is just me ..
accept me at your own risk ..
but dont forget to have some faiths in me ..
or it might end up no where ..
i'm afraid so ..
:( i dont want it to happen ..
because i'm dying for this one ..
Ya Allah ..
give me the strenght to overcome all this ..
amin ..

truly ,
syafinaz <3

i have nothing to be proud of ..
i have nothing to share ..
i have nothing great ..
i have nothing to bother ..
i have nothing to show you ..
i have nothing inside my heart ..
i have nothing to just say it out ..
and i really have 'nothing' more to say ..
i'm tired of being me ..
the whole me ..
am thinking of giving up this life sometimes ..
because i have nothing special to impress people around me..
i'm just a down-to-earth person who has nothing much to share with you ..
i'm so sorry .. this is really me ..

truly ,
syafinaz nordin <3

;) capturing a happy moment ~ 1 syawal

silently ..

it's just so silent ..
yes .. more like a silent killer ..
who did break my heart quietly ..
oh yea ..
thanks ..
now i know ..
the true colours ..
i can never figure it out if i am not eager at all ..
thanks for the high curiousity that i have inside me ..

hate ,
fynaz

beware of me and him ..

this is mine ...



this is his ...

virgo vs scorpio

VS

you never do ..

I don’t wanna know anymore ..
I don’t wanna ask anymore ..
i don't wanna give a damn on anything anymore ..
I’m tired of questioning .
Why is this and that ..
so just let it be .. okay ?
i choose just to sit down and watch .
what would happen next ..

you don't know ..

were you here for me at all ?
did you care for me at all ?
last time i was told ..
i ain't standing here no more..
all i need is love ..
someone who can share the pain i feel ..
and all i need is time ..
time to open up and show ..
the person i am ..
that you don't know ..
you don't know ..

love ,
fynaz

The Past ..

the past has reflected the whole me ..
it left me a strong piece to still survive though ..
but , it never fragile as the other pieces ..
as they were all broken during the battling of the heart a long time ago ..
now that , there's one piece left as a note ..
the only precious piece that i have within me ..
oh please .. dont you ever take it from me ..
or i'll go on living without my ' soul' for the rest of my life ..

p/s : you know who you are ..
please .. never question me ..
because i'm just tired of giving all i have at one stage in my life .. thanks ..

just a thought

don't push it hard please ..
or else the pressure will get increased ..
soon will cause it to explode ..
seriously, i cant bear for the damages ..
because i really have no warranty for all the damages caused by that action ..
i've warned you before it's really a fragile apparatus .. you really have to handle it with care ..
but it doesn't mean you have to be too careful at all ..
sometimes being too careful might cause you to lose everything accidentally .. am i right ?
and at the end of the day , you may figure out that it's so fcuking lame actually..
erm .. never mind .. for the time being lets just do it your way ..
i think next time you will definitely know the right way to handle it ..
insyAllah ..

<3 from ,
fynaz

those two eyes never lie ..

i just dont know ..
i dont have the answer with me yet ..
because as long as i lived i've never feared to show my affection ..
yes if you ever asked me ..
that would be my answer ..
like what i'm showing you right now ..
it tells you the truth ..
what you have to do is just to open up your eyes widenedly..
because i remember one said to me before..
that eyes never lie..
it reveals a thousand secrets..
and that's when you may find nothing more to doubt .. nothing more to lose .
because i will always be here for you in whatever conditions ..

truly,
fynaz <3

it's fair and square

yea ..
now that we're equal okay ?
no more heart feelings
no more revenge
i'd rather do everything my way ..
i'm no more overshadowed by you ..
and so do yourself ..
always wishing you best of luck mate ..

hurm ..

don't let your past overshadowed you..
cause am just sick of it all ..
can never stand it any longer ..
am just too tired to struggle sometimes ..
so sorry ..
it's kinda hard to swallow ..
and there's no such strong painkiller to cure where it hurts me deeply inside .
now it's just all up to you ..
you may take it or just leave it ..
please choose either one ..
hurmph ..

love ,
fynaz

.......

i'm giving all my heart ..
dont you ever doubt me ..
you just dont have any idea at all ..
how it feels like ..
thanks ..

guardian angel ...<3

When I see your smile
Tears run down my face I can't replace
And now that I'm stronger I've figured out
How this world turns cold and breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one
I will never let you fallI'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
It's ok. It's ok. It's ok.
Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one
I will never let you fallI'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it allEven if saving you sends me to heaven
Cuz you're my, you're my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that awayCuz I'm here for you
Please don't walk away, Please tell me you'll stay, stay
Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be ok
Though my skies are turning gray
I will never let you fallI'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

it has been a long time..

yea.. i'm back at last ..
lama gila tak update blog ni .
hurm .. busy kot ?
entah la . tak kisah la .
tapi i'm back okay ..
going nowhere anymore ..
miss you mr. bloggie ..

a letter to the heart <3

dear heart ,

here's a question for you ..
do you really know how to give up on a 'thing' ?
yes , just one thing ..
that might help you to cure forever ..
please do it for your own sake dear heart ..
since you can't simply bear for all the risks & circumstances due to your wrong action ..
you ought to let it go ..
once again ..
it's time ..
you have reached up the limits ..
no sooner or later ..
you gotta give it up ..
for the thing is too possible to happen ..

truly,
F y N a z F y N

to whom it may concern

nvm ~ i'm also out of love . we're in the same boat mate .
i hope life will treat you kind out there . hell yeah , because it does not treat me pretty well for now.
eventhough it's so hurting me inside . i could not help myself to get mad at you .
i can accept the fact that people make mistake . hope it'll be fine with me soon.
:)but please do remember, i never want to see you unhappy . i hope it's the way you do too.


p/s:: omg, it reminds me of the song lyric very well . a fine frenzy - almost lover .

love from ,
FynazFyn

re-organizing myself

firstly i have a priority list ..
and there it goes ..

1. me, myself & i
2. studies
3. family
4. friends
5. self-entertainments

eventhough i know it's quite poyo to state all these dreams of mine . but who cares ?
i remember one said to me before. " come on , dreaming does not cost you a thing right ?" aha something like that la . suddenly, giving me the idea of these goal settings concept . yea , i know actually everyone should have theirs right from the time when their journey of real life is about to begin . but then , i dont know why . i was like teruja nak tulis jgk dlm blog . hehe . sronok dpt build goal setting as a guideline dlm hidup ni aku rasa . erm . tahla . aku mmg mcm ni kot . so thoughtful . sampai kadang2 entah apapa aku fikir pasal hidup ni . i fought hard to be as good as what i am now . even takla sukses mana . at least aku rasa mcm ada something within me . the conflicts yg buat aku terus survive until sekarang . so thanks to the conflicts , all the ups and downs , and all the blues . they contribute to the rise of my spirits .they made me fully awake and alert. by means , they really taught me how to lead a better life . :)

so here i go mate . i even splitted my goal settings into two :-

the short-term
1. nak jadi kurus & hot ;p . lantak ah . obsess ker apa . this is what i wanted
2. nak grad on time . with a superb result . yeah .
3. nak further blajar jauh jauh . away from m'sia leh?
4. nak make a surprise to everyone with my improvements from time to time . in everything i do ofcourse . :)
5. to overcome my self-inferiority problem as well as gaining more self-confidence to face all the obstacles and shitty things in life .

the long-term
1. nak jadi engineer . IR kot . aiseyman.or at least stick dgn bidang aku ni sampai bila2. insyaAllah. Amin .
2. getting married by the age of 28 . with 3 kids only . taknak byk byk pon :p
3. nk get a higher and higher education selagi mampu
4. to travel all around the world with my love ones .. hee .
5. to make arwah mama proud of me for the entire life by watching how great i am doing down here and to see how successful her daughter will be in the future . i love you mama . with all my hearts . <3

to be continued ...

malas siot .

org kedah cakap baloq kot .
hehe . aku cam malas gila nk update blog nie .
grrr . padahal mcm2 benda aku nk ckp .
i feel like talking to u a lot mr. bloggie .
about what had happened to me for the past 2-3 days .
my feeling's progress and so on .
urghh . aih . terpaksa hold dulu .
sbb kemalasan ni dah tahap maksima .
:D

so till we meet again mr. B

i love you . i miss you . muacks <3

love from,
fyn

a greeting to mr. blogspot

hello mr. blogspot.
sorry , i haven't got time to work with you today .
i'm just out of passion in writing blogs. :(
i already got 2 blog entries to be published within these 2 days though .
but what to do? hurmph . so later on la okie ? muacks . love ya mr bloggiee .
because you're my only loyal friend left :)

love from,
f y n

laughing at my own stupidity

i dont know what to say anymore.
why me ?
hurm .
i'm tired of mistakes . :(
oh please stay calm dear.
you're redirecting yourself right ?
okay okay .
just make sure it won't happen again .
yes .. one more thing , be true to yourself and everyone around you okay ?
because that's the only key to a successfull relationship .
just note that to yourself .

just another boring day ~

the sun has risen up above the sky so high while i was still in the middle of sleeping . then only just i got up from my bed . perhaps it's because of the sun ray's reflecting on my face through the window pane. hence, distrupting all of my sweet dreams .. ohoy bangunlah makcik ! bykla ko punye sweet dreams lak kan siang2 ni . haha . alah, at least i got up at the very last moment kan ? hurm . i was blank for a few secs though . seeing nobody around me. oh yea , i forgot . it's schooling day . my little sister has gone to school . first thing first i did ( when i was partially-concious) is to grab my cellphone which i placed under the pillow before i fell asleep to check out if there is any sms or even missed call. yeah gotcha . they're like 4-5 missed calls and 4 msgs . i read them heartlessly .no big deals . just a few msgs from my friends . and for sure not from my special ones . aha . i wonder do i have one ? phew ~ i dont think so . hahaha . nvm ~ because all i know now is to enjoy the here and let go of the past .. yeayy :) hope all the blues of the day will turn into blast moments . so all the best to you for the remaining semester break fyn *muacks*muacks*

with love ,
f y n a z

The 3 Magic Spells

thrill me , excite me , conquer me at your own risk ..
well.. if you really dare to ..
and you would get back equally the same as a return ..
i promise you so ..
a very fair and square one ..

p/s :: i am waiting for this prince charming . :P hehe . yes i do believe in fairy tales story sometimes . just sometimes okay .. whenever i am losing up hope :(

love from ::

fynazfyn<3

welcome back my older post

Have your relationship with him or her ever been on the rebound ?

I'm not concerning about myself actually .. but those around me .. maybe just 2-3 or persons out of 10 .. i thought so ..hurmph , even if i don't like to say this but i have to ..i think it's because i already got my own rights and guts as well to just say it out ..and this is where it goes ...Sometimes, i do feel like i am merely a ' reservation for the BROKEN-HEARTED people'No matter how you find the statement is very harsh on you ..i would still be in my favour to state that this is the TRUTH what ??and you SHOULD know that i also have a FRAGILE HEART inside which you are supposed to handle it with care at one particular time. in other words , i cannot simply swallow all those things that you say or do regardless .. i'm not a substitute yet sort of a 'reservation' whenever you feel like you're being left out by the ones that you loved like HELL before ..please do not expect me to be your temporary lover while you're in the middle of healing process ..i'm not the catalyst which would make your chemical reaction becomes completely reacted within a few secs..cause i'm just a human-being ..once again , i warn you not to play with my 'fragile' heart ..treat me as you are handling sort of apparatus in a science laboratory ..yes , you should handle it with care for it is easily broken ..

and one more thing ..i'm not the solution which you can just simply discard like a chemical garbage right after you get the results of the experiment ..

love from ,
forever21 freak

love is not yet to come

it was a conversation between me and a friend of mine .
suddenly a few questions were being popped out .
a few killer questions that i was not really in favour to answer =[
so here , i just highlighted a part of the conversation that has eventually
become my very big concern lately ..

Q1.
so, are you ready for a serious one ?

ANS:
err . i am afraid not .. *[smiling meaningfully]*

Q2.
why not ?

ANS:
i need my space for the time being . so please let me be .. since this is my fragile period, such an important turning point to my life path ahead . i really need to stress out on this . it's about hope you know .

COMMENT :
past is past . love comes and goes . come on dear, be true to yourself . i know you need love. we're human-beings . we're meant to be loved and to love each other to feel content. give it a try at least. just dont go losing up hope against love . okay ?

RE :
erm .. well , love is another thing to be considered soon . i am out of love for one good reason . it's because i am loving myself more than anything else right now . it was a thing that i've abandoned and almost forgot before. for now , i really enjoy being self-centered. i hope you understand . thank you .

and there the conversation ended up for that day.

how do i spend my semester break wisely?

haha . it's another thing to be figured out next !
yayy ! good luck fyn !

love from ,
fynaz =]

a brandnew me :]

i have a new resolution for myself .. believe it or not . after all the ups and downs that i've been through all these years..i think i might not need to sit down on my knee and mourn for the past or else end up locking myself in a room , talking to nobody, and the most pathetic thing is that i tend to narrow down my mind on something that i supposedly not to , being easily manipulated and confused *sigh**sigh* .. yes , just like an insane kiddo . no no . it's no longer me ~but , this new resolution is really forcing me to work out for something which is out of me .. expecting me to pour all my blood and sweat in order to make it accomplished.. grrr.. it sounds like i am really up on something bad . isnt it ? haha . surpriseee~! *grins*grins*( p/s :: to people who still got their faith in me , i will never let you down . no worries lah okie dokie ?) oh yea , you can't blame me for being so outrageous lately . oppsie~ , forgot one thing .. the trademark : like i careee~~ dammit ! it's okay though . say whatever you wish ..because i'll always be smiling , smiling and smiling *smiles*smiles* because it really helps soothing the pain inside you know .. who cares ???!!

aha .. speaking of this new resolution of mine .
i hereby , promise not to drop myself down below the par no more , taking care of myself .. yupp a good one okay fyn ? and learn to love myself more than anybody around me does .
come on fyn .. you can do it babyy . ily !
yeay, i am looking forward for a 'brandnew' me .
with a fully make over *winks*winks*
so, wish me luck mates~

till then ~

love from ,

fynaz